KNOWLEDGE OF SELF

“Ninety percent of the world's woe comes from people not knowing themselves, their abilities, their frailties, and even their real virtues. Most of us go almost all the way through life as complete strangers to ourselves.” SYDNEY J HARRIS

They say there are two seasons in Chicago, construction season, and Winter. I witness construction season first hand as this is also "ride to work season" for me personally. I've seen buildings vacated, demolished, and carted away in trucks. Foundations excavated and re-poured, steel frames erected, buildings constructed around them. Essentially the exchange of one aged structure with a new one in it's place. Streets go through the same process of renewal. One week a stretch of concrete is scraped and removed, hot black asphalt laid down in its place. Just as I begin to enjoy this smooth new surface under my tires, a thirty foot hole is dug in the middle of another road just down the way. A city in a constant state of repair and upgrade.

Successful, progressive human lives go through a similar process when people are intent on improving themselves and living a healthy life. The food and drink we consume is the foundation for our physical well being. Our training and exercise build physical strength and endurance in our muscular, vascular, and respiratory systems. The media we ingest; books and articles read, films and television watched, Internet content browsed, all contribute to the structure of our minds. Relationships we hold with family, friends, co-workers all shape our experience and interaction with the world. Our knowledge, beliefs, actions, abilities, and compassion compose our inner framework. Our bodies are the exterior structure.

The older we get, the better we understand ourselves. With each passing day we should have a clearer picture of the unique traits that make us, us. From a very early age we begin to form tastes and opinions. Our cultural surroundings, family and friends have a large influence on what we think and how we feel. Early on, it occurred to me that popular opinion frequently, even more often than not, was off-base or incorrect. Something felt wrong for such dynamic, multi-dimensional beings to be corralled into a uniformed, linear line of thinking. Since my earliest memories, it was important for me to "think outside the box". It was clear that most people had a diet of "low hanging fruit", preferring to chose from what's right in front of them, and from what everyone else is doing.

I think my early enthusiasm and attraction to film came not only from sheer entertainment, but also how it was a subject not taught in school. Such a hugely influential medium almost absent in our education. The same existed with music, outside of radio and television, finding your own sound required research, exploring record stores and liner notes. Before the Internet, sports, outside your local market, also took some effort to get the whole picture. Growing up in an American League market, naturally I was drawn to National League baseball early on. The public library was the only true resource outside of magazine subscriptions to keep up with what was happening outside of Boston.

These factors combined to build a foundation of me, my interests, and my ambition.

Next week I take on a new position at a new property, only my second job since moving to Chicago six years ago. Though moving to an advanced position at a vastly superior hotel, I still won't be "max realizing" my potential. Although I take great pride in my work, I'm not yet truly yielding the impact I am destined to. As long as I can remember, my tastes and opinions have influenced my friends and contemporaries. The movies and music I enjoy, the sports figures and teams I follow, my photography, illustrations, use of language, and philosophy have long left an impression. My passion, research, and knowledge have increased exponentially since studying film all those years ago in Boston. I know myself better today than I did yesterday, and my future creative endeavors remain an unwritten script. I will continue to push my creative efforts while trusting each of you are taking similar steps towards becoming the most unique, authentic, and expressive individuals you can be. I've been taking inventory of my abilities and experience lately while generating a list of talented and inspirational friends with similar constructive interests. I very much look forward to the future, and my creative collaborations with them.

And by them, I mean you.

“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power. If you realize that you have enough, you are truly rich.” LAO TZU

PROGRESSION

Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning.  BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

My hair is thick, and it grows rather quick.  I understand it comes from my grandmother on my mothers side, Irish-American from Aroostook County Maine.  I was born with a full head of dark brown hair, which incidentally all fell out in my first few months on earth.  Of course it all grew back, with a vengeance.  During my formative years, my parents would get me a haircut about once a month at Haircutters LTD on DW Highway in Merrimack.  Inspired by the likes of Scottie Pippen, Kendall Gill, Chris Mullen and other superstars of the NBA, I was likely the first white male in New Hampshire to have his hair cut with the assistance of a styling tool called "The Flat-Topper".  This was essentially a large hair-pick with a tubular spirit level between the comb and the handle.  With a little guidance, "Kim" got my style down pat, and would freshen me up once a month.  In a time before I would entertain using hair gel or other styling products, the thickness of my hair combined with the speed of growth created somewhat of a fuzzy, straight-haired "afro" a few weeks after each cut. Towards the end of middle school, like many of us, I became increasingly more image conscious. 

During the summer of 1994, as I prepared to enter high school, I bought my first pair of hair clippers, and shaved my head.

One of the many highlights enjoyed at Merrimack High School is the freedom to wear a hat if one so chooses.  Baseball hats were the style then just as much as they are today.  Though I only fully shaved my head that one time, a page had been turned.  There would be no more concerns about an afro-puff look as haircuts had become abundant and free of charge.  I had time to develop a style and technique with the ability to "cover up" with a cap at school.  Still inspired by the NBA, I began to develop a fade technique.  In order to see the sides and back of my head I knew I'd need a proper mirror setup.  I went to Home Depot and bought a box of 12" x 12" mirrors and a roll of duct tape.  I taped the edges of 3 mirrors then attached them, protecting the edges and creating a flexible 3-way mirror with 360 degree views of my scalp. 

Starting at age 14, I'd cut my hair almost every week.  It's an interesting process learning the contours of your skull and all of the directions in which your hair grows.  At the same time, you have a close inspection of your face.  I'm sure many girls around this age get a similar experience when they begin to use makeup, but I imagine there is a small percentage of us males who have a similar familiarity with our faces.  I had a close-up view as facial hair began to grow in as I progressed through high school.  After college, I reduced my cuts to about once every two weeks.  Exposure to the California sun also expedited the formation of wrinkle lines, mainly around the eyes and on my forehead.  Fifteen years of cuts before I noticed my first gray hair.  I was at Wrigley Field just a few years back when my young nephew pointed out that I had 3 colors of hair in my beard.  The brown and gray had been identified but the sunlight in the northside ballpark highlighted the red, which I also inherited from my grandmother.

I remember around this same time my friend Kevin telling me how his girlfriend would pull them out whenever she found one sprouted from his head.  Only during the past year or two have I noticed a significant increase in the number of grey and white colored hairs on my head, and in my beard.  These days, I wait approximately 3 weeks between cuts, the light-colored hairs are more visible as they grow in length.  More than ever I've been reflecting on the 20 plus years I've been looking so closely at myself . . .

Where I've been, what I've done, people I've known, where I'm going . .

Who I am.

I am a good distance from where I thought I'd be when I began cutting my own hair two decades ago, yet I feel each gray hair tells a story.  So many miles, so many adventures, so many friends, so many discoveries.  Our appearance along with our expressions tell a great deal to those able to read them.  Life is for all of us a journey of highs and lows, ebbs and flows.  We have control of our outlook and are the spark required to ignite action and change.

Look into you own eyes.  Reflect on who you are, and where you've been.  Explore you mind's eye, unearth your potential, meditate on your future, your position, your location . .

Hair turns gray.

Become what you think about.  

Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.  GEORGE BERNARD SHAW